CLC 6/20/1936- 2/18/2013

God received another Angel a week ago today. As my uncle said during her Eulogy, "If anyone deserves an express ride into heaven, it's Claire Cislo. My Grandmother was the most godly, gracious and unselfish person I have ever known. She was always putting others first and would have done anything for her family or friends. We can all aspire to be a bit more like her. I know that I will continue to live my own life in a way that my Grandmother would have approved of. With her gone, I feel a selfish emptiness inside me as I deeply wish she were still here with us all, but in reality my grandmother has been gone for over three years. After her second AVM, she just wasn't strong enough to come back as her healthy, bubbly, strong self. She always used to say "I have one more good comeback" oh and she did. After her first AVM, she had a full recovery within 18 months of the incident. How amazing it was to see the will of that woman prevail over such an awful experience. Truthfully, my grandmother would not have liked the woman she became after that second incident. The rest of us, we loved her all the same but my grandmother is truly in a better place now where she is happy and healthy and surely having laughs with all the other angels.
My grandfather has been waiting on her for 14 years and its beautiful knowing they are reunited.

You are forever in my heart Grandmother. I know you are still with me in spirit even though your vessel no longer owns it. You are the beautiful sunset I saw landing in Charlotte on my way to your funeral, and the dreams I have of you are because you're present with me. I feel so blessed to have had you be such a big part of my life for the time that we had and you will continue to be an important aspect of my life even now. You make me want to be a better person. I love you like dazzling now and forever. May your journeys be peaceful.

3 days in

So I am on day three of no sugars in my diet and have begun to actually enjoy the process of researching what is going into my body.
I feel like a crazy person looking at every label on foods throughout the cupboard but its so interesting to find that the foods I was drawn to before for snacking on, as I am an avid snacker- are so packed with some form of sugar or another. I also naively didn't realize starting this journey would also mean giving up bread haha 'instead of cereal or fruit and granola I'll just have toast in the mornings' NOT. As I am still including fruit in my diet, I am trying that with Greek yogurt or oatmeal (both of which I don't care for) but maybe it's an acquired taste?
I'm finding it is also difficult finding satisfying foods to eat when I live aboard a boat and do not grocery shop for myself.
If the sous chef isn't tired of me asking: 'is there sugar in this?' then he truly is a saint. The other morning, the chef made waffles as a special treat for breakfast, so to be funny the sous chef told me there was no sugar in them as i'm staring at a plate of waffles topped with heaps of powdered sugar. My watch partner also thought it'd be funny to sit next to me and devour three bowls of cinnamon toast crunch (a personal weak spot) just to be 'funny'.Tonight our captains wife decided to make cupcakes!!! Loooove me some cupcakes but like a good, determined and self disciplined girl, I refrained! Go me.
Three days of the new me: I think I'm doing fairly well. Just having a difficult time satisfying that sweet urge but in time I will find something to replace it. My go to snack at the moment are rice cakes. I had forgotten how tasty they actually are until I was searching for sugar free snacks among a closet full of chips, cookies, candies, and crackers and came across them. I purchased cashew butter this evening from a local health food store, because I need something with more substance as I just find myself devouring massive
amounts of meat at dinner time trying to satisfy my need for protein or just .... anything filling. When I think about it, it's quite gross that before I'd be okay with eating whatever was in sight until I was full. It's comforting knowing exactly what goes into my body- and even more so- being able to pronounce the ingredients!! :)

I have cheated once, but didn't realize it until I had finished my meal. A1 sauce. Confession of the day. It was just sort of a no brainer: steak for dinner, where's the A1? Oopsies sooo no more A1 for this girl.

A Spoonful of Sugar

Starting tomorrow, February 13th, I will embark on my journey of cutting out refined sugar in my diet. I am aware this is going to be an incredibly difficult task, especially for myself as I am
constantly getting caught elbow deep in a bag of chocolates or hanging out with my favorite children: sour patch kids, but am looking forward to the benefits I've read about in exchange.

Sugar is said to have an addictive element to it much like alcohol or other drugs. Hence why when I start eating something like cinnamon toast crunch or Mike and Ike's I simply cannot stop. While sugar is a satisfying treat, it is also incredibly bad for you in artificial forms- natural sugars, such as fruits are acceptable on my terms and to just throw it out there now: while I know wine is LOADED with natural sugars- there is absolutely no way I am cutting that out either. Sorry i'm not sorry.

While my plan has its specific 'terms', my personal goal is to cut down on the amounts of sugars in my diet with the commencement of Lent. I hope that blogging about this experience will not only entertain, but help hold me accountable. We will see how the next 40 days go and re evaluate this lifestyle change at that time. (thankfully my birthday falls one day after Easter this year) Bring on the birthday cake?!? Perhaps a sugar free cake will suffice at that time. I am excited to find out.

For "fun", here are a few foods I ate today that I can no longer consume:

Sour Patch Kids
Honey (for my tea)
Yogurt (better switch to Greek)
Twix
Orange Juice (more sugar in Oj than a coca~cola, just sayin')
Muesli Granola (holy 14g sugar per serving) shocking.

I hope that the world of fruits, veggies, dairy and whole grain is welcoming to me